I'm taking up Michelle's challenge to reflect on 3 habits of the past and how they have changed during this past 9 weeks.
Habit 1: Eating Chocolate at Night
where did it stem from? It slowly crept from night time munchies with my partner to night time must have when I was by myself.
why did I become to attached to it? It was my saviour and my punisher. I could use chocolate to feel less lonely at night, to perk me up from feeling sad, to punish myself for being fat and disgusting and unworthy of anything.
what was the bullshit i had around it? i had to have it. i couldn't go the night without it. it was mine. it was all i had left to treat myself - i don't drink anymore or have much else fun in my life...
I haven't had any chocolate at all over the last 9 weeks, in fact I don't even remember the last time I did. I don't miss it, I don't crave it, I don't wish I could have it, I don't feel like I am stopping myself for eating it or some how being restricted.
how can i prevent it from reappearing? I have broken the habit and one step is to not go back to chocolate. If I eat chocolate again, it's to appreciate it's taste and in very small amounts. I have learnt that I am worthy of much more than that punishment and my body is not served by eating chocolate. I have also learnt that I need to find the fulfilment in my day. To love and care for myself and meet my needs all day everyday as that stops me needing something artificial at the end of the day. Planning my meals and exercise and tracking the food I eat also helps to keep me focussed on where I want to be. Chocolate is not my friend, my friends are my friends.
I'll come back to add the next 2....
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